"Wen / Beibedou (original article, welcome to personal reprint sharing)"
Children's ideas are not as complicated as adults. They do not have the expression of "behind the scenes and behind the scenes". If you like it, you will always be entangled with you. If you don't like it, stay away. Especially when you sleep at night, the attitude difference is very obvious. .
Who does the baby sleep with? If you miss this age, it wo n’t help your mother to work harder ...
A fan complained to me a few days ago, saying that she suspected that her child was not biological, because she was not close to her at all, but was close to her in-laws.
It is understood that because of family environment and work reasons, this fan is very busy on weekdays and cannot breastfeed her baby. Since birth, she has been feeding milk. In order to take care of the children, they first recruited a live-in nanny. Later, The old man was uneasy and offered to look after the children.
Both sides are only children, the old man looks at the baby, and the young couple go to work. The mother thinks this is the normal mode of taking the baby with their generation.
There was no problem at all, until one time when traveling, the child did not sleep at night, kept crying, had to sleep with his grandparents, and there was no way for the adults to rush home at night.
At this time, the mother realized that the closest person in the baby's heart was not his own blood-linked mother, but his grandparents who took care of him from an early age.
This kind of thing I believe every mother has met, the baby sleeps at night, and only recognize someone in the family, no one except her.
And that person is often the one who has been with the child for the longest time. Most of them are grandma and mother, and their blood relationship is not significant.
A scientist in Germany once conducted such an experiment. They divided the newborn baby monkeys into two groups, one took care of the monkey mother, and the other took care of the robot mother. As a result, one year later, the two groups of baby monkeys were in danger. With a completely different performance: the little monkey watched by the mother monkey, the little monkey who ran to seek the protection of the monkey mother, the little monkey who looked after the robot mother, hid behind the robot mother, although it had almost no protective response
It is not difficult to see that affection is the key to maintaining parent-child relationship. Whether it is the biological parent or even the same species can be ignored.
If you want to be close to your child, you ca n’t miss it at this age.
Child psychologist Piaget believes that in infants' cognition, security and intimacy are equivalent, that is, who can provide them with more security, they have a closer relationship with whom.
Where does the sense of security come from? People who spend more time on their children and treat them better are definitely more popular with children than those who spend less time and treat them better.
Studies show that one and a half years is a watershed. Whoever takes care of it before, the child will be with whom. If the mother misses this period, it will be difficult to intervene in the child's emotional world in a short time.
If you want to change, you usually have to wait until the age of 3, the child's psychological development is mature, and the relationship with others is stable before they can gradually interfere with the child's thinking.
Therefore, mothers should never leave their children unattended because they are too tired during the infancy. It is simple to give them to the elderly to take care of, but it is not an easy task to regain the emotional lines of the children in the future.
Under the age of three, these separations must be
1), figure yourself relaxed, let the elderly take full care of the children
This principle applies not only to the workplace, but also to education. Some mothers try to relax easily. After the child is born, they basically ignore it except for feeding. The big things are the old people.
In the name of the mother, but not doing the mother's business, such a performance, you can not change the true heart of the child.
You know, the education concepts of the older generation are mostly problematic, and it is easy for babies to develop bad habits. Mothers do n’t care about their children ’s attitude toward themselves, but their future ca n’t be ignored?
2), for early bed, very small hours let people sleep independently
Everyone says that too late to bed will delay the child's physical and mental development. To prevent this from happening, some parents ask their children to sleep alone when they are very young.
What they don't know is that compulsive independence before the age of 3 is not only not good, but will cause them to feel insecure and sensitive, and even severe cases will cause nervous breakdown!
3) When the child is playing tricks, leave it alone
"You can't go? If you cry, I'll leave!" Faced with the child's mischief, many impatient mothers will treat it with a strong attitude. However, the more irritable the parent, the more panic the child will be.
It's easy for mother to turn around and leave, but what happens? The rupture of parent-child relationships, the danger of disappearance without supervision, the problem of psychological shadows, and so on, all of these have the potential to change a child's life.
In short, companionship is the best gift for children. I hope that mothers can correct their thoughts early and exchange their heart for the heart.
Moms, have you missed the key companionship period for your children? Share your story and discuss it together!
ps: The pictures in this article are from the source network, and the pictures are irrelevant.